He Says Other Women Are Hot?? Here's What To Do Next... (2023)


►► Confused about what to text him? Just copy and paste any of these 9 texts - bit.ly/1EpQNbm

Sooo….your boyfriend is talking about his ex.

Mad yet?

Thought so. Not only that, but he’s saying OTHER women are hot (even women from his previous relationships!).

Sometimes we fall hard for someone and totally forget how to draw the line on their unacceptable behaviour. In this week’s #LOVELife, my brother Stephen and I talk to a women who wants to know exactly how to deal with this tricky situation and what to say to her guy when he does this.

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Meredith my name's Matthew, are you excited to be talking with me today? I I promise I'm even more excited to be talking to you.

I have a special surprise today.

My brother is in the studio with me Stephen Hussey, hi Meredith, Stephen co-wrote, that get the guidebook with me.

That became a New York Times bestseller.

He writes an article every single week on the website, so you need to go to how to get the guide, calm and read his articles, because they're amazing and his writing is like chocolate for your - is I'm very excited to look into it.

I'M doing who wouldn't want that so he's going to be helping us with your question today.

So let's go for it.

What question do you have for us? I just started dating a guy a couple of weeks ago, and one of the kind of communication issues that I've run into is that he pretty frequently brings up other women that he finds really attractive and he's always commented on how gorgeous someone is and he'll pull Them up on his Instagram one thing that kind of sat off with me is: I don't feel necessarily that she's trying to compare me, but it's never ever something he says to me and he is significantly less physically attractive to me by most people standards.

However, I really like so he's less attractive than you, yeah, hmm, and he says everyone else is hot and he doesn't say it to you correct okay.

So why don't you say to him uh? How come you never say? I'M up um.

I kind of mentioned that to him when I was like you know, it would be nice with you to tell me that I was beautiful too and he just kind of looked at me and he was like well.

You should already know that.

So you know the wonderful thing about women is that when you give them a sexy compliment that makes them feel amazing and turned on.

It is something you can use again and again and they'll still feel that way, and that's something that I would feel if you told me that and don't you want me to feel that because that makes me so attracted to you to hear that from you.

Okay and by the way, let's just get, let's fix another part of this - the fact that he's telling you about all the other women that he finds hot what's happening there.

I don't know, I really don't know, and you know some of these women are women that he has dated previously, but most of them are not most of emerges.

Wait, so that's even worse, isn't it he's dated them previously.

These aren't even random women.

This isn't like.

I don't know who's a hot woman on TV who's like a beautiful woman, Eva Longoria, Eva Longoria.

It's not like he's saying.

Oh, he was looking good today on telenovela.

Is that her new show yes, yeah she's looking hot today, um she's, not saying that he's saying my ex is hot.

There is that and he is um he has a semi celebrity status.

It's not big, but it's enough.

I guess, and so it's women that he's connected, is it as big as mine and Stevens celebrity status.

You you are top of the top of the list.

You're a list I'm okay, so so he has a YouTube channel he's got YouTube channel he's got like a few hundred people that watch it he's um he's on Food Network.

I think it's basically what it boils down to got it okay.

So I'm nervous about this, because not only does it show that he's not looking out for your feelings by saying other people were hot he's and no less his exes he's also not making you feel great, which is one of the great parts of a relationship.

Isn't it that somebody else makes you feel great and tells you some of the reasons that you're great on days when you don't always see those things it's one of the most beautiful parts of it, and so I think it's really dangerous right now to be with Someone who is actively doing the opposite and Steve, what do you think Meredith should be saying, I think, is one of those things where you really do need to assert a standard, and I think that means - and this isn't always easy, but in a in a very Sort of almost calm way explaining to him what it makes you feel when he talks about ex-girlfriend's and almost almost asking him if he thinks it's a it's, you kind of you don't want to go down the route of going.

All do you think, that's appropriate, because, obviously that lead him to go.

Well, I don't know, I don't see something wrong with it, but I think you, I think you almost need to lay out why there's a huge difference between him Bailey comment in someone's hot TV, and actually you know in front of you talking about his exes, because I don't know to for when me and Matt come from: that's not that's not normal or appropriate guy behavior and no and one thing one way to to do.

That is to say you know how would you like it if I was doing the same thing right? That's the road, a lot of people go down is, if I was saying all my exes were hot and never told you that I thought you were really attractive.

How would you feel now you can go down that road and sometimes it's worth doing to give someone a kind of forced sense of empathy, but the problem with that is sometimes someone is like.

Well, I wouldn't really care you know like that.

They take that road.

So what what I prefer to do is simply state that look.

Maybe you would be okay with this, the other way around which, by the way, I would never do to you, because I respect you and you're the hot person in my life now so you're, where my attention is, and I want you to feel that I think You're hot and sexy and attractive um well, this guy should want to fulfill her needs right right, and so, if you communicate someone my need is, I need to feel secure in this relationship and it doesn't make me feel secure when I hear you talking about other Women that way, that should almost be enough for him and that's all and by the way that standard is not unreasonable.

Is it that's all he needs to know he doesn't need to have the same standard as you.

He just needs to know that this is your standard and you don't want this, you you, you know, this is an energy, you don't want in your relationship and let him know that and be firm.

I wouldn't you know, be you.

You can always have kindness in your relationships, even when you're firm, but don't be, don't go into people pleaser mode.

When you talk to him about this, you should be firm this this behavior sucks and it's not okay, and he needs to know that and that you have a different standard for your relationship and maybe he doesn't have that standard, in which case that's a bigger conversation.

But right now, unless this changes, it's gon na be a sticking point in your relationship and he needs to know that I would say that in those terms to him, okay, I will do that.

Thank you so much and if you need to remember what we've just said simply go to iTunes and download our podcast, which this is on now and replay these words over and over again and write down the script and then go and say it to him.

That is exactly what I'm going to do.

I'M so glad that I discovered you, I'm so happy that you're here Merida.

Thank you so much.

We will speak to you soon.

Okay, Thank You, Matthew in theatres, all the best Meredith.

Thank you take care.



When a guy tells you other girls are hot? ›

1) He's trying to show you he's in demand

As strange as it may sound, one reason for a guy telling you about another girl (or girls) is that he is trying to make himself appear more attractive to you. There is a method behind what on the surface may seem like madness — and it's even scientifically backed.

Is it okay if my bf calls other girls hot? ›

It is something you should watch, to make sure that he isn't cheating on you, but if it's just a statement, and he is ok with you doing it too, it's nothing to be worried about.

How do I deal with my man looking at other women? ›

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women
  1. See it for what it is. ...
  2. Jealousy is not very pretty. ...
  3. Transform your fear into trust. ...
  4. Invite your partner to channel the sexual energy towards you. ...
  5. Allow yourself to shine.
Oct 30, 2012

What type of girls do guys find hot? ›

Men prefer a woman who can stay calm and relaxed. Beauty is more than make-up and a fancy haircut. Men find women more attractive when they are neat and clean. Men find women who smell nice, who have clean hair and hydrated skin more attractive than a face perfectly covered in makeup.

Is calling someone hot flirting? ›

Take it as a compliment. It doesn't mean you have to date her, etc but be thankful she recognizes the sexiness in you. What does it means when a guy calls you hot? He means you're hot, aka, physically attractive, physically beautiful, physically gorgeous, etc.

What should I do if my boyfriend flirts with another girl? ›

Either walk away, change the subject, pull you into the conversation, or mention you.” In a perfect world, your partner will do this automatically. But you may need to tell them that the flirting bothers you, that it feels inappropriate, and ask them to put a stop to it the next time you see this person.

What do you do when your boyfriend flirts with other girls? ›

“I think the best way to handle the first offense is to wait until you're alone together, and then address it as calmly as possible,” therapist Rachel Gersten, tells Romper. “If the partner continues the behavior, then a larger conversation probably needs to take place.”

Is there a difference between calling someone cute and hot? ›

Cute is someone who's attractive, while hot is someone sexy.

Cute can also refer to someone without any sort of sexual connotations at all. For instance, you might call a baby or a puppy “cute.” On the other hand, “hot” is always used for people you think are sexually attractive.

Is it disrespectful for men to look at other women? ›

Yes, it is normal to look at another woman when in a relationship. To be clear, checking out women while in a relationship doesn't mean you are physically or emotionally blind to beautiful women around you. As long as you don't let it pass a few glances, looking at other women is harmless when in a relationship.

How to stop being jealous when my boyfriend looks at other girl? ›

4 Ways to Stop Feeling Jealous of Other Women
  1. Give yourself a break. First off, jealousy is a normal emotion. ...
  2. Stop yourself from going negative. So often when we feel jealous, we are putting someone else on a pedestal. ...
  3. Become curious about it. ...
  4. Clap your hands.

Why is it normal for men to look at other women? ›

It is found that the brain of a male is stimulated by visual images much more in comparison to a female. If there is an interesting image in his vision's vicinity, he will look at it – his brain is wired for this kind of behavior.

How do you know if a man has mutual feelings for you? ›

As mentioned in the article above, signs of mutual attraction can include frequent communication, physical touch, prolonged eye contact, mirroring, blushing, and flirtatious behavior. If the attraction is mutual between you and another person, you'll likely want to talk to each other rather frequently.

How do you know if he feels you? ›

While you're talking, he might casually touch your arm or elbow, or lean on you when he's laughing. He might even go a bit further and touch your back or try to hold your hand when you're walking, which can be more obvious signs that he has feelings for you.

How do you test if he has feelings for you? ›

17 surprising ways to test a guy to see if he really loves you
  1. 2) Observe his eyes. ...
  2. 4) He is jealous. ...
  3. 5) He makes time for you. ...
  4. 6) He tries to show you how much he cares. ...
  5. 7) He surprises you often. ...
  6. 9) He keeps you close to him when you are together. ...
  7. 10) He cares about your interests. ...
  8. 11) He remembers the important dates.
Jan 6, 2022

What makes a woman irresistible? ›

Women who are confident, ambitious, and emotionally intelligent will always stand out in a crowd. A good sense of humor, communication skills, and self-awareness all contribute to making a woman attractive and irresistible.

What do guys find girls attractive in? ›

Here are 10 things that men find attractive about women according to this survey:
  • Embracing the style. ...
  • Being an equal. ...
  • Taking the lead. ...
  • Being confident and smiling. ...
  • Laugh at their jokes. ...
  • Passionate women. ...
  • Maintaining eye contact. ...
  • You keep him intrigued.
Sep 14, 2022

How to respond when a guy says you're hot? ›

Here are some Flirty and Playful responses to “You're Hot”:
  1. Thanks! You're not so bad yourself.
  2. I'm blushing! Thanks for the compliment.
  3. Aww, I'm flattered!
  4. I think you're looking pretty hot yourself.
  5. Thanks, I try to look my best.
  6. I'm glad you noticed!
  7. Thanks for noticing. 😉
  8. I try!
Jan 6, 2023

How do guys act when they flirt? ›

When he is flirting with you, he may lean closer towards you while you and he are speaking. He may angle his body towards you, make eye contact, keep his feet faced in your direction, or tilt his head while he talks to you. These body language cues signal one thing: He is very much into you!

What is crossing the line in a relationship? ›

As the visual implies, crossing a line means “stepping outside the bounds of the relationship,” says Earnshaw. Though this behavior can certainly reflect a purposeful step, it's also possible for that step to happen unintentionally, often as a result of lacking communication.

Is it bad to flirt with other girls while in a relationship? ›

When is it OK to flirt with others while in a relationship? It may be OK to flirt with others when you and your partner have an open, clear understanding that this is acceptable in your relationship. Behaving in a way that your partner wouldn't appreciate can be a clear sign that your flirting behavior is not OK.

Why does my boyfriend think I flirt with everyone? ›

Men often think women are flirting when they are simply being polite because of a phenomenon called sexual misperception. This phenomenon is not only responsible for your husband thinking you are flirting with other men but is the reason why other men may have mistaken your friendly attitude as a sign of interest too.

Why do guys flirt with other girls in front of you? ›

Some men flirt because it makes them feel good about themselves when they are otherwise fairly insecure. In other words, he may be trying to get a positive or equal reaction from the other woman to endorse that he is desirable.

Is flirting disrespectful to your partner? ›

Expressing a romantic or sexual interest towards a person outside of your marriage is not only inappropriate flirting, but disrespectful. The spouse typically sees it this way unless you're in an open relationship in which seeking other partners is agreed upon as acceptable.

Do guys like being called cute or hot? ›

Most of the time, guys like being called cute. It makes them feel more confident, loved, and close to the person calling them that. Some guys don't prefer cute—they think it's emasculating, they're being called unattractive, or they're getting friend-zoned.

Does hot mean attractive? ›

If you describe someone as hot, you mean that they are sexually attractive or sexually desirable. [informal]

What makes a woman cute? ›

These features could be their lips, faces, hair, body figure, skin, and smile. The physical attributes that are attractive to some vary per age, preference, and environment. In a way, scent also makes a person attractive.

Why do guys talk to other females while in a relationship? ›

Not Getting Your Needs Met in Your Relationship Often, men seek out the affections of other women when they're not getting their needs met at home. They aren't feeling appreciated, or validated, by their wife or girlfriend. Many guys don't know how to identify those needs, and put words to them.

Why do men look at other women online? ›

During this process, you may find out your husband is feeling disconnected from you intimately or perhaps sexually frustrated. Your husband looking at other women online might have been a way for him to compensate for a lacking he is feeling in his life. That does not mean that it's your fault or excuse his behavior.

Is it ok if he likes other womens pictures? ›

Your boyfriend liking other women's bikini pictures on Instagram may be considered normal if your boyfriend is liking a family member's or close friend's photo, or if you have previously agreed that this is acceptable.

How do boyfriends act when jealous? ›

"In the early stages of a relationship, a jealous partner may pass off their comments as humor — but they return to the subject a lot. Do they get twitchy when you spend time on your cell phone or ask to see your text messages? All of these are strong signs that someone has a jealous personality."

Why am I jealous of other girls around him? ›

Jealousy is one of our most complex emotions, and it usually comes from a place of lack. No matter what we do, we feel it's not enough or that we're not enough. So we compare ourselves to others around us. In doing so, our thoughts can turn towards a sense of competing with someone or something.

Should I be upset that my boyfriend looks at other females online? ›

According to studies, looking at attractive alternatives is normal and not a cause for concern as long as the person looking showcases self-control enough to not act on temptation and pursue a relationship with this person. In other words, if they can take a cold shower and not be pervs, you're good to go.

Why do guys tell you other girls are hot? ›

1) He's trying to show you he's in demand

As strange as it may sound, one reason for a guy telling you about another girl (or girls) is that he is trying to make himself appear more attractive to you. There is a method behind what on the surface may seem like madness — and it's even scientifically backed.

Why guys avoid eye contact with the girl they like? ›

When a guy avoids establishing eye contact, it could be because he likes you or has a crush on you. He may think that by avoiding eye contact, he can mask his feelings and make sure that you don't suspect that he feels attracted to you.

Why do men stare at women's eyes? ›

He is trying to convey his feelings

Sometimes a guy may stare at a woman because he is trying to convey a message. He might be telling you with his eyes that he likes you and he wants to pursue a relationship with you. Research itself has proven that eye contact is a proven method of non-verbal communication.

How do you know if the other person feels the chemistry? ›

The instant attraction and that ”spark” you feel with someone is a tell-tale sign of chemistry between you two. If you find yourself making intense eye contact, flirting, and always smiling at someone, you probably have good chemistry with them.

What does chemistry feel like for a man? ›

They enjoy a similar sense of humor and can easily laugh at themselves around one another. Willingness To Compromise: A positive symptom of good chemistry is a willingness to compromise. You'll want to please each other, so you won't be stubborn about having your way all the time.

Can you sense if someone is attracted to you? ›

The clues aren't always obvious, but you can see some of them by paying attention. When someone finds you physically attractive, it shows by always making eye contact, always wanting to touch you physically, and frequently initiating conversations.

What are the first signs a man is falling in love? ›

He's likely to turn his body towards you when in conversation and to make eye contact with you. He may pay attention to you more than others that are around. He's also likely to try spending time with you more than with others when he's falling in love.

How do you know if a man is not into you? ›

Look out for body language cues that signal that he is uncomfortable or disinterested in your interactions. He may try to move away from you, cross his arms in front of him, or turn away from you while you are talking. He may also try to avoid physical contact, like a hug or you touching his arm, he is not interested.

How do you make a man confess his feelings? ›

Be straightforward and come to the point and make him realise that he can be honest with you and express his feelings for you without being judged or critiqued. There are many body language signs like his gaze, his way of talking to you and more such things that can help you know how he feels for you.

How do you test a guy if he's serious about you? ›

7 Signs To Tell if a Guy Is Serious About You
  1. He Listens to You. If a guy is serious about you, he will really listen and he won't take anything you say for granted. ...
  2. He Makes Future Plans. ...
  3. He Checks Up on You. ...
  4. He Helps You with Any Problem. ...
  5. He Makes You a Priority. ...
  6. He Does Thoughtful Things. ...
  7. He Introduces You to His Friends.

Why does my boyfriend tell me when other girls hit on him? ›

Because he's insecure and wants you to know that he's desirable and is wanted so that maybe you'll want him more. Or count yourself lucky to have him.

Do guys try to make you jealous if they like you? ›

Oftentimes, a guy may try to make you jealous because he feels insecure about your feelings for him. His insecurity doesn't make the behavior acceptable, but it does make it quite normal. His attempts at making you jealous might be his way of trying to capture your attention.

Is it OK to tell a girl she's hot? ›

In sum, it is always appropriate to tell your wife/girlfriend/significant other that she is hot but best to avoid saying it to anyone else. The hot ones know they're hot so you're not telling them anything they don't already know anyway. But you can think it all you want!

How do you know if he finds you hot? ›

20 signs that indicate you really turn him on
  • He initiates physical contact.
  • He puts some extra effort into his physical appearance.
  • There's a lot of flirting.
  • His voice sounds deeper when he's talking to you.
  • He stares at you, and not just your face.
  • Firm and tense (but confused) movements.
  • You catch him blushing.
Aug 3, 2022

Why does he flirt with other girls in front of me? ›

Some men flirt because it makes them feel good about themselves when they are otherwise fairly insecure. In other words, he may be trying to get a positive or equal reaction from the other woman to endorse that he is desirable.

Should you tell your partner when other people hit on you? ›

As long as you didn't feel endangered or threatened by the individual in any way, it's probably safe to let the situation go. If it makes you feel better to tell your spouse, that's okay, too. But if your spouse is more prone to jealousy, it might be best not to recount the tale and tell a trusted friend instead.

What guys do when they are jealous? ›

20 signs he is jealous but hiding it
  • Has become more inquisitive. ...
  • Gives your answers a different meaning. ...
  • Gets angry when you admire another man. ...
  • Competes with any man you compliment. ...
  • Becomes uncharacteristically nice. ...
  • Tries to make you jealous. ...
  • He is defensive when you ask about his love life.
Jul 4, 2022

Does jealousy make a guy want you more? ›

Jealousy plays a very important part in romance. It can bring out desire, attraction, and can make a guy want you more. If a guy likes you and sees you flirting with another guy, his jealousy will make him desire you more. As a result, he will try harder to please you.

What do guys do when they want your attention? ›

One of the top undeniable signs he wants you to notice him is that he looks at you all the time. Making eye contact is a way that a man tries to get your attention when he's interested. If he's being especially obvious about it, then he might quickly look away when you catch him staring deep into your soul. Busted!

Is saying hot a compliment? ›

Hot is considered to be a positive compliment that conveys that an individual is sexually attractive, but not necessarily beautiful.

How to say a girl is hot without saying it? ›

  1. Fit ​(not used in the US) The main meaning of ​'fit'​is that the person is healthy and exercises a lot, but it has also come to mean attractive, and especially someone with a nice body. Wow, that guy standing at the bar is so ​fit​!
  2. Foxy. Think of the Jimi Hendrix song “​Foxy Lady​. ...
  3. Gorgeous. ...
  4. Hot. ...
  5. Ravishing. ...
  6. Stunning.

How to tell a girl she looks hot without being creepy? ›

Here are a few tips and tricks!
  1. Be Unique.
  2. Be Sincere.
  3. Don't Just Compliment Physical Appearance.
  4. Don't Be Too Literal.
  5. Beware of Backhanded Compliments.
  6. Context is Key.
  7. Catcalls are NOT Compliments.
Jun 3, 2023

How do you tell if someone is lusting after you? ›

The main difference between lust and love is that lust is purely sexual attraction while love is both passionate and compassionate. Signs of lust include spending most of your time with a partner being physically intimate, having little interest in their life outside the bedroom, and having different values.

What guys do if they like you? ›

22 Subtle Signs A Guy Likes You, From Dating Experts
  • He leans toward you during conversation.
  • He angles his body toward you in the room.
  • He finds small ways to compliment you.
  • He makes eye contact.
  • He steals a glance at you.
  • He singles you out in a group.
  • He seems drawn to you in the room.
Nov 26, 2021

Is he attracted to me or just being nice? ›

A guy who likes you will always be nice and polite in his approach towards you and he will always look for avenues to spend more time alone with you and get to know more about you- either by going on a date, through constant phone calls or chats- the subtle signs are always there if you pay close attention.

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